Well, hook ups can be scary. I know in the past I have been the very worst person to try to have one of these. But lately I have been changing a lot. I have been enjoying some casual relations with an old friend (who I also could love soemday) and that is really the problem. I thought it was better, but as a friend, it is very hard to not try to get him to come over more often. Since I am at a campus with lots of gorgeous men in the negineering field I figure that it is a good time to try out hooking up casually. I think it was a mistake to try to find a relationship, and that I want to feel happier. I am just being open to things, I am not just going out to find a casual hook up. But say if I meet someone who is very handsome and we go somewhere... and we hook up.. well I won't feel bad if we stop contact or if we never get to hook up afterwards. In  fact, I am preferring that scenario. So, no sex, but we will see what it comes to I'll let you know. Peace for now.

Feeling unsure and sort of weird right now. I know that I was in love before with him. Now I am simply being with him as a person and not finding him as an answer to any prayers. I have been through love before, and been ground up by it completely. But now my luck is heading in the other path. I am feeling pretty confident and that I live my life with my highest good. But how do I move forward from here?

I invite him over, he says he wants to come, then he can't. Then he wants to make plans for later that day, then he is the one who cancels. I can't direct him or I'll feel like I am the one who is in charge of everything and that is the worst feeling. So I am waiting patiently to see if he will tell me he wants to come over here. He likes to play games! Please make them stop! Okay maybe I like them a little bit.