http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=DBSD&g=0&o=1

I was surprised when I got the sonnet last night, and it made me REALLY upset actually. Like it seems like I fake being this one, when really I am actually the one from the link above. But I still put on the show like I am the sonnet. Why?? Because of different reasons, but mainly don't want to come off as someone who does need need to be in a relationship to enjoy sex.. which I am like... and just realized it say two or three days ago! WTF! Take the test, it will tell you a lot about your girl self, or guy self.

Every person, whether gay or straight or in between is a plant that needs water and nurture from other people. We all have the power to lift ourselves out of the soil. We have our own sources of water, our own fertilizer and our own sunlight. However, a lot of people look to others for their supply.

I used to look for my supply from someone else but now I have grown so much from being "dumped" when I thought I was so close to having it all. Every time I get comfortable, I seem to get kicked from behind with some sort of lesson, which tells me that to be alone is the most important thing to work on.

So now I am back there again. I wonder if there is something holding me in place, or something distant that I am revolving towards. I wonder what the plan for me is, in the grand design for my time on this planet. I wonder who I will know tomorrow, as it turns out to be some new turn of the weather whenever I feel comfortable or compliant with my life. Now I am looking for the very much dreaded thing you could look for, which is a deep self love that can only stem from having a lot of alone time.

I hope I can at last be comfortable with my place here, to the point where a friend is the last thing I want and I am secure in myself. Then only will I make the best friends, and find the best person to love. My friends are good, and my life is very good for lack of better words. But something is missing. I have to go and look for that.